8 Things They Never Taught You About Networking
"Networking," as a verb, occupies a strange location in the creative professional landscape. It's an activity that practically everyone agrees is desperately important, and a clear delineator between the successful and the merely talented but frustrated. On the other hand, it's a maddeningly nebulous term; a kind of Emperor's New Clothes that folks agree on, but are hard pressed to accurately describe. Every now and then, a bold student will ask a teacher or presenter to please define this strange verb, and in my experience, the response is usually akin to "You'll know it when you see it..."
The most likely explanation for this haziness is that networking is a form of relationship building, and like all human relationships, professional networks defy clear definition. There is no definitive handbook on what makes a healthy marriage, for example (though many books have tried), or for that matter a sturdy parent-child bond, and so the best advice tends to focus on specific examples.
With that approach in mind, I've compiled a short list of specifics that aim to shed a little more light on this crucial but undefinable skill, with special attention paid to the ways it resembles the personal relationship-building that traditionally receives more attention. So here you are: a random sampling of eight incomplete answers to the question "What does good networking look like, anyway?"
1. It's not about the first impression, it's about the third.
You know what they say about the Third Date, right? There's a reason the number three has so much meaning attached to it in relationships, and it's true in professional networking as well.
First meetings happen by the thousands. In both professional and personal life, we're understandably wary of first impressions, both because they're so frequent, and so influenced by circumstances. A second meeting implies more common ground; in the professional arena this elevates your relationship from "We met once" to "We're acquainted." Meeting someone a third time is a different story though. It implies that you're inhabiting some of the same circles, and know some of the same people.
It's easy to put on your game face when chatting with someone you've met once or twice, but after that, pleasantries are largely worn out: you know about each other's positions, common acquaintances, and most of the other candidates for light party conversation, so if you're talking for a third time it usually means you truly have something to discuss.
At this point, you're networked. This doesn't mean you're going to start working together tomorrow, but you've established a level of familiarity that allows you to stay in touch, and might someday work in your favor...or theirs. The difference between being well-networked and being a busybody is all about follow-up, so if you meet someone worth knowing, aim to meet him again, or at least send a meaningful note or email.
2. A nice business card is nice, but it's just a piece of paper.
I remember the first time I had business cards printed up - 500 of them, for Design Week in New York. They were dreadful, but to me they signified that I had arrived. I must have handed out 150 of those things over the course of the week, and I'm confident 99.5% of them never got looked at again.
This had less to do with the design of the card than with the way I was using them. "Hi, how are you, would you like a card?" does not constitute networking. There's nothing wrong with handing one out, of course, even when you're first meeting someone, but a card is just a reminder, not an impression. Ten minutes of engaging discussion, meaningful questions, and impassioned descriptions of your work are worth far more. Do this, and a scrap of paper with a scrawled email address is more likely to get a response than the world's most artful rectangle of tree pulp.
3. Obsequious: Look it up. And don't be it.
OK, fine, here's the definition, according to Merriam Webster: marked by or exhibiting a fawning attentiveness. Synonyms: see subservient.
The first time I ever attended a portfolio review as a working designer rather than a student was something like an out-of-body-experience. The set-up was familiar enough: opposing sets of chairs, tables covered in laser-printed graphics, color-coded conference badges. What I wasn't prepared for was the steady stream of design students - many of whom I'd already chatted with earlier in the conference - approaching me to ask for opinions on their work by calling me "sir," and thanking me profusely for practically every word that came out of my mouth. "Well, thank you sir for taking a moment out of your busy schedule to offer me some opinions on my work. I know I'm just starting out and have a lot to learn, so I really appreciate blah blah blah..."
Yes, it's important to be humble and approach other professionals with consideration, and saying "please" and "thank you" is always good form. But it's more important to have a real conversation. Whether you're a student or a working professional, making contacts with more experienced and established players in your field is a crucial part of networking, and those players know it. Most of them are accustomed to being approached in this vein, and many enjoy the opportunity. An obsequious approach can easily ruin that enjoyment. With few exceptions, even the most accomplished designer would rather have an engaging discussion with a confident junior than get hammered with compliments and self-deprecation. So don't apologize for your lack of experience, limit the acknowledgements to a simple "thanks for your time," and focus your efforts on being smart and interesting.
4. Be worth finding.
If you made a good first impression, people will want to find out more about you, so make sure they find something good. In the modern, social media-savvy world, everybody has a swarm of online information around them, and this is often where interested parties will go first to follow-up a real life contact. While following up might once have meant sending a thank you note and nothing more, it now includes maintaining your personal information swarm so that it reinforces the positive impression you made in real life. You should be easy to find online, through multiple channels (website, portfolio, blog, social media profile, etc.), and there should be meaningful information waiting there.
5. Don't fake it. They can tell.
Part of the reason networking is effective is the access it gives people to each others' intangibles: sense of humor, level of excitement, how well they'd work together. Not everyone is looking for the same kind of personality, so being yourself is important. Moreover, unless you're a professional actor, feigning extra interest in something that bores you or acting jolly when you're naturally reserved will probably come across as disingenuous.
6. Position yourself as the legitimate center of attention.
By legitimate I don't mean loud and bombastic. There are lots of ways to legitimately be the center of attention. Give a talk or a presentation, or ask a question during Q&A. Volunteer for a professional event. Write an article, submit work for a contest, or contribute to a discussion board. In each of these cases, you're associating yourself with a larger entity, and that lends credibility. The creative professions are full of individuals shouting about how great they are. Doing a great job on the other hand - especially when people are watching - is rare and impressive.
7. It almost always happens when you least expect it.
The dating analogy has something to offer here as well. While it's true that successful relationships are sometimes found through directed strategies like Tinder and OkCupid, the more common story still involves a happy accident: the mutual friend; the chance conversation at the dog park, the choir or the gym. The advice many smug marrieds give their single friends - "just go out and do things!" - applies to networking too.
So go do things. Professional development functions, conferences and networking events, obviously, but also things that pique your professional and creative interest: lectures, openings, exhibitions, parties. It might seem counterintuitive that making contacts outside of your discipline is just as important as meeting those within it, but designers have to work with a wide range of other professions, so the more diverse your network is, the better. The illustrator who only knows other illustrators, for example, is missing a lot of opportunities.
8. It takes a while.
For every designer who falls into a perfect job after two chance meetings with the right person, there's an equally qualified counterpart who struggles for a year before getting a good lead. As much control as an individual has over her network, a good fraction of it will always be left to chance. Give it enough time, and commit to never letting your network languish, even when things are going well, and it will pay off in the end.
Note: This article was originally written by Carl Alviani